Thursday, May 15, 2014

Conquering the Grand Canyon

I feel like I’ve been pushing my mental strength to all types of different extremes to test it out.  I think as a competitive person in some distorted way I like the challenge within these different mind “toughness” adventures I keep thinking are good ideas.  Now given, I still think they are good ideas, they just become nervous ideas the closer they comeJ

 

I’ve blogged about this before, but I take for granted the attitude of “If you want to do it, make it happen!”  An attitude I realize I have my parents, close friends, and family who have influenced to me and provided the support and encouragement to do so.  I’ve discovered some people can never see the ability to dream of something happening because there are multiple reasons why it isn’t a good idea.  I mean; is this something we learn in school?  I’m lucky to have teachers who just so happen to be parents, coaches,  grandparents, aunts, and uncles etc, who are to thank for a lot of children’s goals and dreams in life, so I guess with the double impact from being a family of teachers, coaches, that serve parents as well I just got lucky.  I find myself too quick to answer sometimes when I go off onto an idea, dream of some sort when someone quickly says “WHY?”….. I’m as quick to answer back…. “Why Not?”  I think self development is pushing yourself outside of what you once felt you were comfortable at.

 

It’s funny the reflections that come upon you about certain things when you are “training” for the marathons…for the hikes….for anything where you are able to allow yourself to escape maybe the hustle and bustle of everyday hectic “to do list’ life and go off into a different thought process.  I was always a nervous child (now that certainly hasn’t changed), I thought too much for whatever given age I was at for the time.  I was scared to leave my parents or spend the night a lot of times when I was younger because I always had this constant fear something would happen while I was gone.  I usually always had an exit strategy to anything that was going on at a given moment just in case.  I really didn’t like the thought of separation from my parents and I believe I was 5 or 6 years old before I ever slept by myself and didn’t sleep in my parents bed, or in the middle of the night create a make shift camp out bed on the floor next to them.  I’m certain there were mornings my parents stepped on me because upon hoping I’d slept through the night alone I had made my way into their room in the darkness and stayed there.  I am even still in possession of a childhood blanket that during the cleaning cycle of the washing machine I would be perched on top waiting, probably crying waiting for it to be clean.  (This blankets name was pinky by the way, and just to put it on record, it is no longer pink) 



 

It’s funny now, because through growing up and being nervous about so many “new” adventures…..I’m ready to just hop on a plane and see where the next place I can go is.  Now I’m still a planner and all that sorts, but looking back some I’m proud of myself for “letting go” a little bit and opening myself up to so many adventures that has allowed to change my perspective and understanding of things so much. 

 

“Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and there’s got to be a way through it” 

-Michael J Fox

 

Sometimes not knowing how to get through something leads you to do something amazing…to challenge yourself…and to do great things that you never thought you’d be able to do before.  I still struggle daily at the acceptance that so many things I still wanted to have my dad around for won’t happen.  I still struggle at him not physically being here to experience some of these things with. 2014 will begin the first year I have to conquer without my dad.  I was that little girl who sat on top of his foot when he had to leave to go somewhere screeching that I was going with him.  I was that little girl standing alongside the sidelines of sport practices/games repeating everything he was yelling at his players.  I was that girl who had the basketball shooting form just like her dad.  I was that girl that went to college and played sports…just like her dad.  I was that girl who was inducted into the Mid-Ohio Valley Hall of Fame…….just like her dad.  I’ve followed in my dad’s footsteps for so long; I’m not sure where to go now that he’s gone.


 

I do know one path to follow though…it is to continue to find a way to make a difference.  For every future daughter who has to fight this fight….. I will fight to make a difference in the development of a cure for Parkinson’s.  For every other person now I have come to adore, idolize, and cherish the friendships and family bond through Team Fox…I will fight for a cure for Parkinson’s.  I will continue the path to be a positive role model for kids, because that is how dad changed so many lives along his journey.  I will follow a path to carry on this legacy of his because I have seen firsthand just how much of an influence he was to so many which truly made a difference. 

 

I will keep finding a way “through this”, and part of this journey will start on our next challenge.  We will be leaving tomorrow to fly to Phoenix, AZ and meet up with 18 other Team Fox challengers to make a difference.  As a group we have raised around $36,000 for the Michael J Fox Foundation.  We will be tackling the entire Rim to Rim challenge in one day (24 mile and 6,000 vertical feet).  I would have never thought hiking Rim to Rim of the Grand Canyon would be part of this journey, but sometimes things just happen at the right time and you realize this is just how it was meant to be.  After dad’s passing I wanted to do something outside the box of what I’d done before, and when Team Fox announced they were going to try this new event this year it just seemed fitting.  Dad had always wanted to go to the Grand Canyon, I’m certain to hunt or fish would have been part of the trip, but it was something fitting for him.  He may not physically be there, but I know he’ll be there with me.

 

A few things I have discovered upon prepare for this.  1)  Hiking is slower than running (obviously)…but it’s been a bit of a mental approach change up.  When we went out for our long hikes a part of my just wanted to run to run and get the miles in and over with…..and not really taking in what was actually happening.  I haven’t really allowed myself to run a lot while training for this just for the mental block of accepting it’s ok to not be running.  2)  Do not “Google” Things that could go wrong while hiking the Grand Canyon.  There are no good answers to that search.  It’s like “Googling” a medial aliment, it’s bad….really bad….  3) Brock was a sprinter in high school…..  Reminding him over and over that we don’t have to sprint this or that at mile 3… it will pay off not to 18 miles in.  4)  Hydration Back-Packs….. who knew how fun a backpack with a water reservoir would make you feel so outdoorsy and rugged?   5) Unlike the NYC Marathon…if I drop out of the hike because of injury or etc ….. there will not be a subway station to hop on to take me to my final spot…..  So… once you’re in….we better get out.  Does anyone have the phone number for the donkey service?

 

I’m a bit nervous about this trip.  It’s just out of my typical comfort zone, but like I’ve been discovering…every new challenge has brought a better acceptance of many things, and the final result is going to be worth it.  We will be 24 rugged miles closer to a cure for Parkinson’s and my dad will get to visit the Grand Canyon.

 

 

Thank you all for continuing to follow this journey and for your continued motivation and support…..I’ll see you on the South Rim

Friday, February 14, 2014

The Next Challenge

The Next Challenge:
 
Sometimes not knowing how to get through something leads you to do something amazing…to challenge yourself…and to do great things that you never thought you’d be able to do before.
 
2014 will begin the first year I have to conquer without my dad.  I was that little girl who sat on top of his foot when he had to leave to go somewhere screeching that I was going with him.  I was that little girl standing alongside the sidelines of sport practices/games repeating everything he was yelling at his players.  I was that girl who had the basketball shooting form just like her dad.  I was that girl that went to college and played sports…just like her dad.  I was that girl who was inducted into the Mid-Ohio Valley Hall of Fame…….just like her dad.  I’ve followed in my dad’s footsteps for so long; I’m not sure where to go now that he’s gone. You see I lost my dad November 30th, 2013 to Parkinson’s disease.  A disease that took the toughest, strongest, most inspirational man I knew too early.  
 
Through Team Fox I have developed a 2nd family.  I have to say, it’s a pretty awesome family.  They will convince you to just about do anything (trust me they are good), and you’ll have more support than you ever knew you’d need. 
 
I have ran the Vancouver Marathon and the NYC Marathon in 2013 for Team Fox and now I am beyond excited for this new challenge for 2014 to continue my dad’s legacy and fight to find a cure for Parkinson’s Disease.
 
The Next Challenge:
Grand Canyon Challenge…… hiking 24 miles and 6,000 vertical feet Rim to Rim of the Grand Canyon in one day.  May 18th.   People ask if I’m crazy.  I’ve started to debate how to actually answer that because the no limits attitude I feel with Team Fox may have highlighted this characteristic within me.  



Our donation website we will be utilizing for Team Spangler this year is:

 
The best part about this journey this year is I will have my fiancĂ© joining me in this challenge, through my struggle with my dad’s illness he has been right there beside me and we are doing this together for him and our Team Fox Family.  


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

A New Battle Against Parkinson's Disease

Well…I promised myself I’d do better at blogging as part of my New Year’s Resolutions with everything that has gone on …..Well, here it is January 28th and I’m just now doing a new blog entry…I hope better late than never.  I have so many reasons to keep this blog going, and I want to do better at it.  I’ve found every excuse in the book to stop typing on many days once the words started to become difficult to type.
 
Truth be told, I’ve started the blog post a few times…got past the first sentence and had too many tears in my eyes to want to continue the typing.  I realize everything is going to be a process…but it’s a “process” I don’t want to accept.  I ran across this Michael J Fox quote yesterday, “Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and there’s got to be a way through it  I’d ran across that quote before during the struggle of dad’s fight with Parkinson’s…accepting the diagnoses and finding a way through it…. Now the struggle is accepting the passing of my father and finding a way through it.  For those of you whom may not know, my father passed away losing his battle to Parkinson’s Disease on November 30th. 
 


That’s the day I wanted to scream, punch, yell, and kick a lot of people for no apparent reason (well a few can cross my mind can be for apparent reasons).  I suppose years of frustration was releasing itself at the question of “why”….why do bad things happen to good people, and so many bad people are “fine”.   I’m not turning it into a judgment statement, I’m just purely expressing my frustration at this god awful disease that took the life of my father entirely too early.  I still had so many things I wanted to share with him, to show him, to do for him, and get through this battle together.  There had been moments of being scared before for example, when dad got phenomena and we just “weren’t sure” he would be able to push through, and I just kept thinking…this is one of those moments, it isn’t real….he’s fought this too long, there can’t be an end!  I felt like a zombie ….it just didn’t seem “real”.  To be honest it still doesn’t seem “real”.  The outpour of support was more helpful than I could ever express.  Knowing how many people you are surrounded by during a difficult time helps with the “process” as it’s referred to.  Just knowing dad touched so many lives, influenced so many people, and hearing all the stories helps make the awful days easier.  Everything does happen for a reason, and I’m blessed to know those reasons have led me exactly where I am now.
 
At dad’s services I just kept feeling like everything was “OK”, different, but “OK”…it was a celebration of dad no longer suffering but giving a chance for so many to come together.  Many I hadn’t seen in years.  Everyone was telling stories, funny things, hilarious moments, laughs, (stories I probably wasn’t allowed to know as a kid have now surfaced to share a few good adult laughs) and so forth that it was ok to be happy he was no longer suffering.  God knows I missed him being there, but it was “OK”….

We had asked people (mom’s idea) to wear a shirt that may have been related to a memory they had with dad, shared in common with dad, etc.  It turned out better than we had expected, and a fun idea!  Many were in “Team Spangler” shirts, a shirt we created a few years back when we started to be very active in Team Fox and the activities we do raising money for Parkinson’s Disease Research fighting for dad.  Many wore their Sunday FunDay 5K shirts from this past year’s first 5K we hosted raising money for Parkinson’s Research. Dad coached many sports teams, different sports, different schools, different areas, teams, you name it, he probably tried it out at some point.  The cutest thing was a friend wore a Pennsboro High School jersey his dad wore when he played for my dad.  We got a good laugh now with curiosity how his dad could fit in it, but it was so neat to see.  One of dad’s former runners wore a shirt dad had wrote his “motivation” on for her, that she still had.  Many of dad’s friends from high school/college wore their Sherman Tide Pride and Glenville State pride.  It was so nice to see all of them there, and to meet several I’d never gotten to meet before.  But I assured them I had some good stories on them. 


 
I never want to feel “needy”…nor will I ever probably admit I need anything.  I am so fortunate to have surrounded myself in my life with the people I have.  I have friends I know I can count on without even having to ask (that’s a good thing, because I’m not good at asking).  Some were there all along helping pull together details to make dad’s Celebration of Life perfect. I had folks from my new job come, high school friends, and so many others that I know traveled a good ways, and gave up time in their day to stop, send notes, sends messages, cards, food, supplies and I just can’t express how much that means..  I was surrounded with surprises from New Jersey and Pittsburgh (might I add, It truly got a smile out of me that the baby wore the camo outfit I got as a joke for the “city” baby, in case he ever needed to come to WV) J to be there for me, and one who is horrible at keeping secrets and pulled a surprise coming from Dayton even wearing WV gear.  I am surrounded by an extended family thanks to Brock that has always been there and supported me through this journey.  Best of all I get to stand next to the best guy a girl could ask for.  Given, there are moments I am sure he’s clueless how to deal with me, I am too independent sometimes to a point I’m not good at allowing myself to need anyone, and he knows how to cross that boundary through my stubbornness and be everything I need him to be.  He has had some pretty high standards set to live up to as an example set by my dad, and I laugh at many moments at how much he reminds me of him, especially the food………ok..a lot with food. J
 
I have been in debate at what I want to do this year to honor my dad, and continue the fight against Parkinson’s Disease.  My dad has created a legacy and it is up to us to carry it on, influence others, motivate others, and continue to do amazing things.  I have really really really really (do you get the idea?) been debating doing the Rim to Rim challenge with Team Fox at the Grand Canyon…it has just really been on my mind.  My dad always wanted to go to the Grand Canyon and it just seems fitting.  I’m just debating if all my dreams and “to dos” are a little “irresponsible” financially with everything else I have planned to do this year. (Not to burst another blog entry sometime, but a wedding will be happening this year)  Mom and I will be making another trip to NYC this year for the Team Fox MVP dinner and get to spend an awesome weekend with our Team Fox Family after a difficult year; I think it’s important to surround ourselves with a reminder of what we are all about.  I’m still going to let myself debate it out a little bit, but maybe the Grand Canyon is still an option.  We will definitely be hosting our “2nd” annual Sunday Fun Day event this year again for Team Fox and hoping to make it 100 times bigger than last year.  We also will be joining in on The Fox Trot to be held in March Here in Charleston again that has been a huge asset to Team Fox thanks to another Parkinson’s friend.
 
I promise to keep better with the blogging, this was probably just the hardest one I Needed to get out there….I will often reflect on this more I’m sure….but “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”…and sometimes the first step is the toughest.
 
Thanks for all your support….we are going to make 2014 an amazing year!