Friday, March 8, 2013

March Madness

March Madness….

I wrote about it last year…and I’m going to touch on it again…. I’m not sure what “sports season” is more memorable for me with my dad, considering he pretty much was my coach for all of them (minus track season which I considered was my dad/coach break).  Somehow, he still had a lot of opinions for me and he secretly talked to the Coach Haught’s more than I probably know) J
A friend shared some pictures he’d found going through a media stick, and they really brought back some good memories.  (And some NERVOUS ones) from the State Tournament in 2001.  I think I can still feel the need to just want to throw up prior to running out on the Civic Center’s gym floor surrounded by seats filled with our loyal fans.  Looking back…that is one of my best sports memories…ever. 
 
You never really appreciate a feeling until later in life when you realize just how special it truly was.  I still feel many days I never actually showed how much I as a person appreciated the fan support/special supporters  we had through high school.  It always added to the excitement of the game, and it brings back a tough thing for me to talk about that I think is a reason I’ve hid from it a little bit.  I am a little disappointed in myself for this too.  Flipping through the news channels the other night and the girl’s state tournament coverage was on, I couldn’t help but think it was just yesterday our team was battling in those games.   I think I’m sometimes scared of my feelings I will feel going back to a high school game, and it shouldn’t be how I am. 
 
I cannot express how many late nights I spent in Ritchie County High School’s gym shooting baskets with dad.  Given a busy day or something, we still had to get the “repetition” in for shooting.  Spending so much time in a place with a person makes is a little difficult to swallow now when you realize just what that time meant to you now looking back. 

I don’t spend as much time as I may type about on here “looking back”…I use a lot of “looking back” moments to justify ways to handle the “now”.  I know a lot of who I am today is because of those moments, and when I’m trying to figure out how to handle a situation I try to evaluate things in the past, the outcome, and maybe how I should alter to get a different outcome now.  You talk a lot about STUFF when shooting 100’s of shots.  I probably try too hard with these 2nd to 5th graders I coach now…trying to get them to embrace understanding more outside the game of basketball J 
I am going to regret sharing this story…as it may be painful for my dad to know I even said this…I made the ref swear to secrecy…  BUT…. My little team lost last weekend…(I know…devastating)… nobody wants to win more than I do…. HOWEVER….  The ref was teasing me about finally losing a game…. And I hesitated and said you know…. (after making him swear he wouldn’t repeat I said this)… We needed to lose that game….We needed to lose….Practices had started to get too “easy”…. They wouldn’t listen to a lot of specifics of things that they needed to work on because “Coach we’ve been winning” (pretty much for 2 years for some on the team)…. These kids were so mad…I heard every excuse in the book why we lost and none of which was their fault (if anyone witnessed the 40 lay-ups that were missed and so forth you’d know why we lost) J….  My kids didn’t know how to lose.  It’s not an easy thing to accept…but it’s just as important to know how to lose…as it is to win.  Tempers were flaring, fits were being thrown, pouting, blaming…. It was rather ugly….and I was a little disappointed.  How do you teach a kid “to lose?”  Who wants to teach a kid to lose?...NOT ME…..
But yet…. We don’t always win in life…nothing will ALWAYS go your way…and at some point it has to be accepted so that when something even more serious doesn’t go your way….you don’t just give up.
I didn’ t really intend for this story to come full circle such as this, but…. Dad had a temperature 2 weekends ago of 105 (yes…you read that correctly)….. He slept for pretty much 2 solid days, wasn’t really eating much of anything if at all… it was truly the weakest moment I’ve ever seen my dad….I left the house with the worst feeling I’ve ever had through this…I’m not even sure if I said a word the entire way home.  How he keeps on fighting I will never truly know.  How he refuses to never give up….I’m not sure no matter how many long runs I reflect and think about things, I will ever know.  I just hope I never lose the desire to be a fighter like my dad.

 

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

What are you doing March 16th?

I’m going to avoid apologizing for not keeping up blogging very well J 
..........You’ve heard all my excuses J 
 
I’ve got lots to share so I’ll try to break it down by each activity so nothing gets lost in the mix…I don’t want this blog entry to be  a sequel to my many novels I’ve previously written…. And it gives me something to talk about (as if that’s ever been a problem) J
I wanted to share a little “Team Spangler” event we are joining in on to help out.  A new found Parkinson’s friend of mine from Charleston in hosting a Walk on March 16th at Charleston’s Capital Market starting at 10am.  I am working on pulling together anyone who would love to join us for this (it’s a 5K) Dogs are welcome (I’m still debating if Smokes will behave)….  But we’d love to have you there!!!  We are asking for $15 a person, $25 if you’d need/want a Team Spangler shirt.  I will handle the registration for our team.. any excess money we may raise I will contribute via our Team Fox Team webpage. 
We’d LOVE to have you join us….he has worked really hard on this event and it’s looking to be great!  Capital Market hosts a Chili event afterwards as well. You can find more detailed information here: Fox Trot (just click on the link)  If you’d like to join us it will be a great day!!!  Just Email me: MissySpangler22@yahoo.com  I look forward to hearing & seeing you there J
 
 
And in case anyone would like to freak out with me about where I should be training wise and my grumpiness towards this winter weather to run in…..
Vancouver is 61 days away….we’ve got this J

Monday, February 11, 2013

The Good, The Bad…and what I perceive as the ugly parts

The Good, The Bad…and what I perceive as the ugly parts

You know, I go through different emotions and thought processes as my family continues this battle against Parkinson’s disease.  When discussing this with others different outlooks always surface that help me as a person handle our own journey with this.  I do know, this disease has opened my perspective as to how I feel and approach many things in life now.  From making the most of each day we are given, not put so many “wishes” on the back burner to do in the future (because it may not be possible)….and to be more attentive to someone else’s struggles that they didn’t have a choice to have.
***Let’s skip back roughly 15-20 years…. I didn’t comprehend how a disease can slowly change and consume a person’s life (as well as their families).  A part of you just assumes there is a pill or treatment for anything now days.  Medicine continues to take leap and bounds every day, at least that’s what our textbooks continue to highlight and promote.  In general, it’s a very solid statement, until you are faced yourself with one of those diseases they just haven’t figured out yet.  I think the influence my dad had on me growing up regarding his constant saying of “no excuses” maybe I took to a little extreme.  When a single pill started to alter my dad’s characteristics, I got grumpy….(now given at the time we didn’t know it was from the pill)… I got mad at the fact of things he was doing….and I remember lashing out one night at him literally screaming “NO EXCUSES” when he kept saying I Just don’t know why I want to do this.  (A “family hard point to talk about” was when this dopamine medication was creating a compulsive tendency towards certain things, later discovered as a side effect of that particular medicine)  The side effects of these “pills” etc were sometimes far worse than the disease itself.  I remember my mom calling when she saw something on the news informing of the studies being done on that medicine and the findings they had discovered.  It was a sense of relief to my mom, because for so long we didn’t understand what was going on.
I’ll be honest…. (Brock always laughs when I say that, because he’ll respond sarcastically Oh good…I hate it when you lie)….  I’ve probably kept this blog post to myself for many reasons….but during yesterday’s run I got to thinking….Just because I’m fighting hard to keep things positive, it doesn’t change reality that sometimes it just plain sucks.  It’s probably important to share the bad with the good so that others when faced upon the harder parts realize its normal or understand others have been there too.  It isn’t always a “GREAT” ride..no matter how positive we push to be and maybe we want both…we can’t learn without one and the other.
The Ugly reality….. how it alters others to act.  I may not be speaking in English right now, I’m not even quit sure how to describe this in a professional correct manner without it coming out an inappropriate way.  BUT… there are some people in your life that you expect to act a certain way given certain situations.  We all react to tragedy differently and that’s why I try so hard to understand where some may be coming from, I try to open my perception on why they may be acting a certain way prior to getting upset about it.  I’m not saying I know the right way or wrong way….but I do think there is a better way.  (I’ll be the first to admit for years I just wanted to pretend it wasn’t really happening and to avoid the topic of the disease because it was easier to deal with then to know what was going to happen.   I even refused to educate myself on it at first because I lived in fear of not wanting to know maybe what could happen to my dad)   Over these few years there has been blame placed on different people, harsh words spoken, and downright hatred that has escalated to an unfortunate level of disrespect that isn’t deserved.  I don’t understand why it has to come down to that. 
When nobody else has answers, I suppose that’s when fingers start being pointed….that part I know is a general reaction to anything someone doesn’t know quite what to do so they blame someone else,  that’s human nature I guess.  However, the truth is…everyone is doing everything that they know how to do to the best of their abilities.  There isn’t a way to make any of this easier, no matter if it’s your son, your father, your husband, your friend etc.  I will say in this, my mom has taken on an extreme amount of responsibility over these past several years.  It is heart breaking enough for me to think about all the things I wanted my dad to share with me and be able to stand next to me to do that he won’t be able to do physically.  I know there are things my mom misses being able to do with him every single day....including just being able to exchange words in a conversation.  I know I am only speaking for myself, since this is obviously my blog….. but… I’m trying to put this into words maybe for a sense of dealing with it…so I can move on at least for me.  I’m done with the rumors, the lies, and feeling the urge to want to protect my mom from these accusations.  My mom has handled far more then many others could even think of….she has more on her plate then many do even prior to my dad’s sickness.  I’m tired of things not going perfect for some, and the blame being placed on her. 
I’ve convinced myself sometimes you just have to let go……no matter the relationship this person may be….there are many famous quotes that state surround yourself by positive people, and maybe at the end of day, I have to make that decision for myself and for a few others in my family.  I almost feel as if maybe it’s a selfish decision, but I’m tired of what spirits we do have being a negative focus when the topic comes up.  If anything I will protect my family from this pessimism that has sense spiraled over the last few years and even some recently and put it to better use, we have bigger things to focus on anyway. I try to put others before me as much as I can, and I’m just exhausted at this point of understanding and even allowing myself to get upset/worked up about it.  Christmas came and went for one example without a single word other than “We aren’t celebrating/buying  Christmas this year…which was mentioned in October in my birthday card in fact”…..and to be honest the “cancellation of Christmas” we were told became obvious later on….cancellation of Christmas was for our side of the family. 
Now….there isn’t a need for feeling sorry, this isn’t what this blog post is about…. I’m (and my family) is surrounded by some of the most wonderful people a person could ask for….family relation or not…. and to be honest…what I’ve learned in life (all 30 years now)…it doesn’t matter if someone is related to you by blood…it matters for those who choose to act that way…you get the opportunity to pick who you want in your life, and I’m beyond lucky of who I’m surrounded with that want to be there.  Just know…if your family has altered some because of a difficult situation, you aren’t alone and don’t let it affect the hardships even more…there are many people who’ve been there and understand.
One thing that always amazes me…. Is the uplifting support from complete strangers…. You create this mental concept of who will understand, help, be there etc in hard times.  It’s disappointing when the obvious people don’t do what one may expect ….but what truly makes a difference are the new friends you meet along the way as if they’ve been there all along.  I do believe there are some days when I feel so overwhelmed at wanting a solution, making a difference, and just needing a push in the right direction.... it seems to always arrive at the right time from a friend I’ve met along the way. 
Life isn’t always going to be as picture perfect as we’d like it to be….but I don’t think we would learn from that either.  I’m happy for the struggles we’ve had along the way, because I do think it’s made me a more understanding person and I hope a better one for that matter.  I hope to be a little more stern about who I let effect my spirit, and know I wouldn’t be where I am today if it hadn’t been for those people who were the encouraging supportive ones along the way….most of all….thank you mom and dad…..even during my grumpy/overwhelming stages I know I wouldn’t be who I am today if it hadn’t been for you always being there.
 
Now....Team huddle....
"Stop complaining and get out there and do something!
 
(That's exactly what my dad would say to this blog post!) :)
 
**Team Spangler**

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

We’re crossing the border to Vancouver ….

We’re crossing the border to Vancouver ….  That's right Team Spangler is going International :) 

I'm embarassed to admit, but there has been lots going on…and I’ve been TERRIBLE at keeping the blog up….I keep telling myself I want “time” to make a great post, and then I get sidetracked with another project.  Since Vancouver is less than 100 days away I better get back to being more “blogger friendly” and mile runner focused J
So, in case you didn’t know yet…..I’ve officially signed up for the Vancouver Marathon!!!  It’s outside my “comfort zone” of being ready (Training obsession), familiar with the area, etc….but I’ve already got a passport, a friend who lives there, Team Fox involved, so I’m ready to go! (It's also listed as a top 10 Destination Marathon by Forbes)  I am wanting to challenge us this year to be “Coast to Coast”…..so I’ll be running Vancouver in May….and updates later on NYC In November…I’ll be on the Pacific Ocean and then make my way to the Atlantic J 
So dad, we’ll be coast to coast for you this year J  (Just not running ALL the miles in-between…may have to have some help with an airplane)
I have been trying to get the training back under control, it’s been so hit and miss with this weather and I’ve gotta find a way to be more determined to “get er done” (to throw in a little country slang there).  I hate a treadmill with a passion, but I suppose it’s necessary sometimes.  I somewhat have a fear of falling off the treadmill while running, I just have such a hard time focusing on keeping on the belt, I get sidetracked extremely easy…and how can I multi-task while running on a moving belt I’m afraid to fall of?  I also always feel I’m on mile 10 I’m so board when I’ve barely reached 1 mile point.
The Vancouver Marathon is set for May 5th so we are 96 days out….it seems "far away", but I’m already scared of the 26.2 miles J  I lost a little bit of training ground after the NYC marathon after getting sick, so I’ve been working on feeling that comfort zone of miles again. 
If somehow I come up missing during the race, I’m pretty certain there is a big possibility you can find me enjoying the views from the race route maybe sitting on a bench in the park.  If you want to entertain yourself a little bit (or become a little jealous…well jealous minus the 26.2 miles it will include)….Here is part of the race route that runs along the Pacific Ocean through Stanley Park….
 

Here is the course of the marathon winding through Vancouver.

 
Here is the Video Blurb from the official Vancouver Marathon Site …..

 
 (If that link doesn't work embedded...here is the direct link BMO Vancouver Marathon 2012 ) 

Now after typing this I feel the need to leave work and go for a run…..I hope this weather sticks out for today.  Keep checking the blog for more updates and stories….I’ve got a lot to catch you up on and a lot to share!  I’ll be sharing info soon of joining the “official” Team Spangler team through Team Fox I registered us for this year.  Also….if anyone wanted to make a donation via the Vancouver Team Fox project here is that website:
Missy Spangler Team Fox Vancouver Marathon Page
(If that doesnt' work the direct link is  http://www2.michaeljfox.org/goto/missyspangler
(Just click on the link)
 
I can’t tell you how excited I am for all the Team Spangler things to come this year! 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Looking forward to this Winter "Heat Wave" approaching

     Ohhhh hello winter and cold air….tending to want to forget what cold air will do to ones lungs is something I believe I purposely forget. (I’m sorry but I’m not a fan of WINTER….after Christmas and snow at that time period…I’m over it…bring on Spring, Fall, and Summer)  I made a few excuses as to reasons not to run a few days the wind was blowing and it was FREEZING (at least compared to my cozy warm house)….so I finally kicked myself out of the house on Saturday to get this running thing back in cycle with a 5 mile run….it wasn’t even that cold and I feel like someone stole the wind out of my chest.  I suppose this is that reminder of what a little asthma will do to a person.  I also love what a little bit of a cold/asthma condition etc will do to a competitive person…..

     Call me crazy…but when my “mind control” starts to sneak away and I’m in my daze of just running and random thoughts, I find that I’m talking to myself (hey…that’s normal right?….I probably don’t want to hear your answer)….but I was occasionally telling myself “this cold isn’t a big deal or my lungs feeling the way they do…..I’ll show you”…. How does one literally have an argument with themselves or in this case a cold I mean I hate to admit it but I seriously was talking trash/competitive to a cold?  Is it a competitive battle as to if the cold will win or I’ll conquer it before it gets to me?  Does anyone else go through this?
    Something about running while a little under the weather maybe brings out the weirdest traits or inner voices in you….but then again I don’t have the time to be slacking right now…I already slacked enough to this point to still want to be able to do what I’ve set my mind to do in 2013…..  So hacking or not….Because if this cold knows it or not…I will defeat it J   I just hope those around me will let it slide when I spend the few hours  recovering from the air in my chest and heaviness….if you hear someone hacking/coughing….it’s me…  Looking forward to getting back on a track (seriously)….I get to go home right after work today and take this little husky (who is growing too fast) on a run with me J
 
 
One of my cold weather memories is always the "Mid East Meet" we had in high school in 2000....The event was held in Dayton, OH (Weird I know...I'd forgotten till later in time after I lived there awhile I had this meet there)  I should have remembered HOW COLD IT WAS THEN...before I moved there!   It's as cold as we look :)  This was West Virginia's team that year when we ran against Michigan, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, PA, and sadly I can't remember if Kentucky ran that year with us or not  However...I do recall the "Hill" that everyone made such a fuss about on this course....It gave any West Virginia runner a good laugh at (it was a man made hill created by dirt they dug up to make a little pond...and we ran up and over it for the race course)......  At the pre-dinner when other teams were complaining about the hill, we thought we'd warmed up on the wrong course that day.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

2013...Here we come!

2013 Here We Come J

So…everyone is all about resolutions…goals….promises…lists….
All of which I’m pretty sure I’m somewhat obsessed about on a daily basis as it…so therefore the whole “New Year” thing just makes it worse.  (Except I should probably update my blog layout etc to keep it current)…I’ll add that to my “To do List”……  I’ve been debating some serious goal setting for 2013 and some hopeful events we can continue to do for this year.  The battle against Parkinson’s won’t stop until they find a cure….so why should we?  It also isn’t so much everything having to be about the money level we raise….the awareness is so much more to a person searching for peace a mind and support.  One of the greatest things I feel like I got from just last year were a few individuals who found me to discuss Parkinson’s with me that hadn’t even told anyone else yet and was searching for others to understand.  That is what I want to continue to happen because we’ve gotten the word out there that there are others who understand.
I gave dad the picture of mom and I with Michael J. Fox atthe NYC Marathon Team Fox dinner regarding the marathon. He seemed puzzled at first and then laughed when Brock told him He’d have to go Back to the Future for it….  Mom and I have spoken often at how lucky we are regarding disease (not that we are LUCKY)…but….  Depression is something that stems a lot from this disease and it’s so nice to see dad keep his sense of laughing, sense of humor, and still enjoy what is going on around him.  He got the biggest kick laughing at the kids tearing through the wrapping paper.

 
I want that picture of Michael J Fox along with mom and I to stand for a sense of hope….that he can see it and know there are people everyday battling the same thing he is and working towards a cure.  I also want him reminded of all the other people we have met through this journey that have helped us along the way and better understand this disease.  There have been so many inspirational people we've met in just a year through Team Fox and we want to continue to help and support all of them on behalf of our community and to be an active group representing WV for this. 
As for my continued journey…I’m still finalizing the NYC Marathon details for 2013 to make sure of our ability to have a guaranteed spot even through Charity involvement…and then I think I have another marathon in May we are looking at that will be a fun filled adventure to see an old friend J  I better get to running in these cold temperatures though to keep up the training.  Excuses can be so easy if I don’t hold myself accountable.
We should have the ability to register for 2013 soon via Team Fox and get a Team Spangler set up and I’ll continue to pass along that information….I’ve got a few calls out today as well regarding a few other opportunities we can pursue to raise awareness as well as a few fundraisers to keep the spirit going for 2013.   It’s all about being bigger and better then the year before….so that’s what we’ll be doing in 2013 J
Now…I’m off to go to basketball practice and hopefully sneak in a little run on the little path they just built there before the kids arrive.  Actually I should probably have them run with me so they are borderline tired and may actually listen at the start of practice..we have our first game on Saturday and I'm a little worried :)
Happy New Year and I look forward to hearing some goals from everyone and we hope you can jump in on some Team Spangler activities this year!

Friday, December 21, 2012

"You See....Your Dad....he's on the Naughty List"

Just Kidding (Quoted from one of my favorite movied of all times) :)....my dad certainly isn't on the naughty list...at least probably not this year....however you may not want to ask his nurses after some of the jokes/pranks he's pulled on them this year.  One consiting of him hiding a kitten under his blanket so when they pulled it back it jumped out at them and scared them :)


“Ohhhhh A Christmas Tree!!!!!!!”
“I just like to Smile….smiling is my favorite”
“What’s a Christmas Gram?...I WANT ONE!”
“SANTA….I know him…..I know him!!!!”
If you want me to continue I will….I’m certain I can probably site the entire movie to you if you’d like J  If you don’t yet know, It’s Elf….seriously the best Christmas Movie of all time.  Which is why also, this moment while running the “Run it Anyway Marathon” was at the top of my best things to ever happen list J


Christmas is my favorite holiday simply because of the spirit of Christmas.  No, I’m not talking about the grumpy people at the store…..but the sense of hope and excitement in kids.  It brings out the good in people on most things because others put others before them and try to make sure others are taken care of.  I ALWAYS tell myself I’m going to make all these wonderful handmade items I see that I’m inspired by and then of course a few days before Christmas I’m aggravated I didn’t have time or find the time to make it “as special” as I’d hoped.  So here is to good intentions J

I cannot express how much my dad laughs at Christmas Vacation movie…I will probably argue that’s the 2nd best Christmas movie.  Most movies are the “heart felt warming blah blah blah” (Which is fine..I enjoy my Lifetime and Hallmark movies this time of year)…but Christmas Vacation is hilarious.  We all know we have one Cousin Eddy in every family and you can’t help but laugh.
 
(Well....you know the famous line here I won't quote to avoid offending anyone by the language) :)

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? 
I’m looking forward to filling my next few days with more Christmas movies because I haven’t had enough of them.  I can’t wait to stuff myself to the point where I can’t move at my Grandma Nelson’s house on Christmas Eve and catch up with everyone.  It’s easy to tell yourself ‘That’s why I run” so I can eat as much as I want.  Dad always use to say “I run so I can eat”.  He does love his sweets J
 Another thing I’m excited about is this picture I was finally able to find to surprise dad with for Christmas.  Don’t worry…he won’t see this blog unless someone shows him and mom and them know they aren’t allowed so I’m sure we are safe to share J  I want dad to see just where our journey took us this year and how involved we got to be with such an influential person in the Parkinson’s Community, so he can see this picture and be reminded we all continue to battle this together.  Michael J. Fox is beyond a positive person, he’s a symbol of hope to so many who didn’t have a thought of hope at this disease.  They have literally moved mountains in the world of research in their quest to find a cure and continue to progress further every day.  I just wanted to hug Michael J. Fox and fight back tears at just how much it has meant to us to get here.  Our family isn’t much of a crying and sympathetic of moments as we’ve all been raised to be “pretty tough”…..so it goes unspoken with some of our struggles we face seeing our dad battle this….and I hope this picture keeps dad smiling on his bad days so we can continue to hope that “tomorrows” will be better.

 
I hope you all have a WONDERFUL Christmas……and thank you so much for everything this past year…..and I mean it J